So, in case you are feeling the need for some more “In the life of Heather after she has been in Scotland”, I do have my age-old journal going here. I was going to try to get something else going, but I might as well stick with what I know and like.

That’s all. Much love to all those “Welcome back” comments. Settling in has had its ups and downs, but I’m home and waiting to plan my next trip back and further abroad. I’m feeling Summer of 2010. Wimbledon with Pia. Maybe Iceland. Definitely Scotland. That is, if I have some money by then.

My next adventure is back to San Francisco to visit a friend that I actually met in Scotland who lives there. In San Francisco, not Scotland. That’s in two weeks, and I can’t wait. Spring Break, here I come!

I’ve been home for two weeks now, and Scotland is trying to get farther away but not succeeding. I found delicious Scottish Breakfast Tea at a shop called “All Things Bright and British” and also oatcakes the other day, and I have heather potpourri that I brought home from Scotland, so I’m able to be reminded of Scotland by smell and taste, which is comforting.

Last night I started going through my pictures with my family, who are a captive audience. They’re the only ones that would willingly (mostly) sit through the 5,000 pictures I took. We got through the first month of pictures last night. It was fun to revisit places I had been and loved being.

I must have been putting off this home-post because I still am holding out on the hope that I’ll magically be transported back. But I am adjusting to life here again, unwillingly at first and now gradually because I have to. I don’t like driving anymore. I didn’t like to drive before but now I view freeways with a sort of disgust. They just go hand in hand with the American necessity for rapidity and our deep-seated impatience. Especially on the west coast. And San Diego must have grown while I was gone, because it seems unnecessarily large and full of people and smog.

But I’m home for now.

I am leaving in two days.  This week has just felt off because of that.  I miss my family, but I love it here, and I have to go home and I want to go home but I don’t want to leave here.  Oh well, because I am.

Mostly it’s just this in-between-ness that’s bothering me.  I’m not all the way here because my suitcases are packing and I’m transitioning into indefinite goodbyes which feels awkward.  I’m not home yet, and there’s a few long plane rides between me and home, which I’m not looking forward to.  I’ve started to train my mind toward indifference which kind of looks like acceptance, mostly so I don’t cry.  But it’s the last week for everyone here even if they’re just going home for Christmas, so everyone is busy and everything is crazy and I’m not crazy enough for them, yet internally very anxious.

I’m anxious about going home because I have a feeling I won’t like it.  I have a feeling I’m going to miss Scotland a lot and start comparing everything at home to my experiences here.  Which isn’t fair, but it may happen.  I’m just setting myself and everyone at home for my reverse culture shock.  But then again, it may be a smooth transition.  Mostly I have enjoyed my time here, I won’t forget it and how I’ve grown personally and spiritually, but I’ll try to be back and be back.  I don’t know what to expect right now.  Except hugs from my family and probably tears, cuddling, sleeping, smiling.

Oh dear.

The neat thing is that in exactly two weeks, I will no longer be here. I will be somewhere between here and Home. Hopefully the San Diego home and not the Heavenly Home, but I do trust airplanes and their pilots (although there have been a few rough landings courtesy of Ryan Air). I trust God more than airplanes and pilots, and in two weeks I will be home. Haha, I definitely just scared my mom. And my grandma (Hi, Grandma).

So I’ve been here for, what, three months. Flown by, just like you said it would. And now I actually am experiencing what it means to go to university in Scotland. Well, not exactly like a regular Scottish university student, because they have to sit intense exams in January which I luckily get to miss, but in lieu of that, I have the pleasure of writing three essays in two weeks! The first one is “done,” though it’s still about 25 words short of the 2000 word count that I need, and it’s lacking some substance in some areas. The other two shouldn’t be too hard as their 1000 words each, but that means I’m writing at least 4000 words before the end. Words, words, words.

Anyway, now that Pia has made me realize how much I miss home and family, I’m looking forward to home. This puts a few people here at odds with me–those who either don’t want me to leave them or don’t want to leave here themselves. So I try to reserve my excitement about seeing my family again to myself and to our family skype conversations. It’s going to be weird going home, with our church closing the day after I get back and the possibility of jobs in Northern California for Dad threatening our family’s conception of “home.” But I’m feeling very missed and missing. This should be an interesting Christmas.

Also, I have added the documentation of my adventures in Scotland with Pia.

Pia’s arrival in Edinburgh and our adventures there.

Our impromptu adventure to Glasgow and a night with Bill and Gwen.

A walk along Aberdeen’s Beach to the Fun Beach, a cafe, and a playground.

Pray for Gwen, my honorary Scottish grandmother, as she has a hurt leg muscle that is causing her lots of pain and prevented Emily, Caitlin, and I from visiting them this weekend.    The postponed visit is sad, but I think it was for the best, as Emily and I are currently holed up in the library desperately writing papers.  Still, I think Bill and Gwen would have been a nice alternative, especially because I love them so much.

The weekend here in Aberdeen, although unnatural since every other weekend has been spent somewhere other than here, is turning into a nice farewell weekend.  I’m having dinner with a friend tonight and doing church things all weekend.  Tomorrow I will be having lunch with my hospitality family from Gerrard Street Baptist who I wouldn’t have got to meet with if I hadn’t been here this weekend.

So, papers this week, possibly a day trip to St. Andrews to visit friends there and because I really want to see it!  And papers, presentations, and packing the last week and then HOME.  I will miss Scotland, but I love home too. 

My good friend Pia has been visiting me this week. Ellen, who this post is dedicated to, is her mom. Hi Ellen! It has been so wonderful having someone visit me! Just having someone familiar, someone who understands me without explanation with me has been a breath of fresh air, and it’s getting me really excited to go home. No one here has had a history with me “before Scotland,” besides Bill and Gwen, and that was only emailing. It was fun showing Pia around my temporary home, and exploring new places with her.

I dragged her all around Edinburgh last Tuesday and Wednesday after she flew in. We went to the Castle, walked up and down the Royal Mile, climbed Arthur’s seat–which was windy and amazing. We also climbed Calton Hill because I recognized the monuments from one of my favorite movies, North and South. I wasn’t sure if it really was the place, but I have seen this movie at least 10 times (which is saying a lot as it’s 4 hours long). I took a lot of pictures, and I checked them against the movie when I got back to Aberdeen. It was the place! I walked where Mr. Thornton walked! And Margaret! And Nicholas Higgins and Bessie! It was kind of the thrill of my time in Edinburgh.

Mr. Thornton walking in the film:

Mr. Thornton about to walk into my shot:

We stayed with a girl from Canada whom I met in Skye a few weeks ago. The woman she lives with is lovely. It was a lovely time in Edinburgh. I love that city!

Then we had Thanksgiving in Aberdeen. I made sweet potatoes for out Small Group Bible Study’s Thanksgiving Dinner. They turned out delicious! It was fun sharing an American holiday with so many Scots. There were about 5 of us Americans there, so we shared our Thanksgiving traditions are were thankful for our Scottish Thanksgiving. Definitely a memorable one!

Then we ended up getting last minute tickets to see the Scottish National Orchestra in Glasgow on Saturday. They were free, so we caught a bus to Glasgow and saw the sights there on Saturday. I wasn’t going to get to go to Glasgow, so I’m really glad we had this chance! It was a lovely city, with new and old mixed, more like an American city, but better. Because it was Scottish. I bought a grandpa hat there, and Pia bought a wonderful Scottish beanie.

We had a wonderful time in Glasgow, going to free museums and smiling at little Glaswegian children. The orchestra was amazing, but we decided to leave at intermission because we were staying with Bill and Gwen in Dunblane and I wanted to spend time with them. They both tried on my grandpa hat and Bill wasn’t going to give it back! I’ll have to add those pictures later because it’s late and I should be getting to bed. But mostly I wanted Ellen to see her daughter’s lovely new hat! We also went for a walk all along Aberdeen beach today, and I wore my grandpa hat and my wellies. I’ll have those pictures up soon as well!

Goodnight for now!

Well, it’s been a little while.  I knew this about myself already, but sometimes I can be not very good at keeping in touch with people.  I still have postcards from two months ago that I haven’t sent, and maybe they are lost now.  Just know that you are not forgotten!  Every comment and note you leave or send is cherished greatly.  And someday when I’m home in burning Southern California you may receive a postcard from me, postmarked months after it was written, and you will smile.  But even if that doesn’t happen, smile anyway, because I think of you often.

I just thought I’d get all caught up on the pictures, because those are everyone’s favorite part.

Click here for pictures of Halloween in Aberdeen. You can meet my flatmates and see my Peter Pan costume.

Click here for pictures of my trip to Pisa and Rome. Allison was my travelling buddy, and we had a wonderfully warm time.

Click here for pictures of my Scottish Birthday! It was a joyful day. (See previous entry)

And most recently I ventured with Emily to the Isle of Skye, an island off the North West of Scotland.  That was this past weekend and it was my favorite place in Scotland, probably.  We hitched a ride with a tour that was up from Edinburgh, met a wonderful Canadian girl named Danielle, and saw beauty everywhere.  It was a feast for my imagination.

My favorite place that we went was Fairy Glen.  It was the one place that I saw in a Walking Tour of Skye book that I really wanted to see, and the tour took us there.  I was afraid we weren’t going to stop, but when we did I was the first one off the bus because I was so excited to see faeries!  It was like a miniature landscape, even with Castle Ewen, a rocky Faerie Castle at the top of one of the Faerie hills.  This was what brought me to Scotland.  This was my Faerie Land.  I had to be dragged back onto the bus or I would have sat in the hills and among the Faerie rings and played and dreamed forever.

I didn’t want to leave Skye, but we had to return to the world of papers and stress.  There was nothing about Skye that was not beautiful.  I walked around with wide eyes all weekend because everywhere I turned, there was Beauty.  Someday maybe I will live on Skye in a whitewashed cottage sipping tea by a warm fire where I could read and write all day!  We were barely there for two full days, but my imagination will run wild there forever I know.

Bill, my honorary Scottish grandfather, teases us about how we’re only here for a holiday, and the extreme difficulty I had in writing two papers in the last week demonstrated that sufficently.  I can’t wait to come back to Scotland and see everything with no time limits.  I want to walk the hills, see the heather when it’s purple and painting the moors, experience the long summer days (especially now that I’ve started to get to know the long winter nights).  It is odd when the sun rises at 8:00 am and sets at 3:45 pm.  I’m getting used to it, getting all I can out of the daylight and dry weather when it comes.

For now, I’m here for one more month.  I can’t believe it’s already almost over.  I want to go home, but somehow Scotland has seeped into my soul and I don’t think I’ll be able to leave.

This is my first birthday away from home home home.  I spent 5 days in Italy, which ended in a wonderful birthday weekend spent with my ‘Scottish grandparents’ Bill and Gwen which culminated in a surprise party put on by my flatmates last night.  I got to talk to my entire family and my grandma made me cry.   And now it’s actually my birthday.  I had frosted flakes and a Thornton’s chocolate bar for breakfast.  I miss the colored pancakes my daddy makes on birthday mornings.  I’m enjoying the birthday messages that are trickling in, while I’m watching Doctor Who and sipping peppermint tea.

I’ve already gotten wonderful presents.  Wonderful, GOOD hugs from Bill and Gwen after they met me at the airport in Edinburgh on Saturday, and hugs hugs hugs all weekend.  They took me out for a birthday dinner on Saturday night and surprised me with a special birthday cake and birthday banner and a Quaich, a traditional Scottish porridge bowl/friendship bowl made of pewter.  Also, Emily gave me a Doctor Who spaceship set, complete with the Doctor and his TARDIS, Captain Jack and his spaceship, and an Ood and his spaceship.  AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!  I’m sure the pictures will be on facebook later.

So, while I was sitting on my bed, really missing my family and home and colored pancakes and HUGS, the door buzzer rang, I peaked out the window and saw the POSTMAN WITH PACKAGES.  I dashed to the door, signed for my packages, told him how excited I was because they were my birthday presents, and he smiled and said “Congratulations!”  You guys, you sent me a funfetti cake mix because you couldn’t make me a cake! I just hung up my traditional Becca-made birthday banner, and I’m wearing all of the necklaces Amber made me at once.  The pictures you sent made me cry and miss you so much.  I’m pretty sure I’m still crying because I feel happy and loved and loved and loved.  Grandma sent me homemade snickerdoodles, which I will consume momentarily, and I will soak my monster tablets in water and watch them grow soon.  Of course, I’m out of Kleenex so I’m wiping my tears on the pink shirt that Daddy wore 21 years ago that made me a girl.

It’s my birthday.  I’m in Scotland with bare trees and cloudy skies, and love from lots of people.  A leaf just floated from God and landed on my window seal.  My face–happy and tear-streaked with smiles.

I’m listening to Bing Crosby and feeling comfy and comforted in my marshmallow white fleece and red snowflake jammy pants.  I’m learning and progressing ever so slowly in my growing up in Christ.  Lately, adverbial phrases in the Gospels have been getting me, giving me new insight into stories I’ve heard all my life.  I’ll share one.

After Jesus’ baptism in Mark 1, and Heaven opens and God says to His Son, “You are my Son whom I love; with You I am well pleased.”  Mark follows this with the temptation of Christ, but he likes to use rapid phrases, jumping straight into the action, and here he says “At once, the Spirit sent him out into the desert.”  It struck me that after such an emotional and spiritual high as baptism, with His Father splitting open the skies and lavishing Him with praise, Jesus is immediately bombarded with temptations.

Isn’t it at those golden “high” moments of your spiritual life that the enemy attacks you the most?  I know for me, it’s at the highest moments and the lowest moments that I find temptation greatest.   Jesus is presumably feeling pretty good, so the enemy tempts Him with His own power.  I still think that the devil is ridiculous for baiting the Son of God, but it comforts me that Jesus was subjected to the agonies of temptation, and yet he was without sin.  The suffering of resisting temptation is a suffering that I want to share with Jesus.  It’s just what I’ve been thinking about lately…

I have been journalling and writing so much.  I feel like I maybe could be a writer someday.  I feel like I maybe am a writer.  Of course, I should be writing research papers for both of my classes, but I can’t always write when I have to.  I’ve been trying to get schoolwork done, because I leave for Italy on Tuesday, but tonight I’m too distracted by ROME to write a boring old paper!

I’ll be flying to Pisa on Tuesday, where I will meet my friend Allison at a hostel we selected.  We will spend one night and half of Wednesday in Pisa.  Then we will take a train on Wednesday to Rome, where we will spend three nights and two full days!  In ROME!!  I’m so excited!  I’ll take a train back to Pisa on Saturday morning and fly back to Edinburgh.  Bill and Gwen are picking me up at the airport and I’m spending Saturday night with them, including a birthday dinner (!!) and going to church with them Sunday morning before coming back home to Aberdeen.  So this is my birthday celebration week and weekend, as my 21st birthday is next Monday!

I can’t believe how fast this time has already gone.  It’s November.  I’m basically home already.  But Aberdeen has been great.  This weekend was the first weekend I’ve been home in a while, and it was nice to just be in my home here.  We had a Halloween party on Friday that I participated in by dressing up as Peter Pan for about an hour.  Saturday I spent in the library checking out books and researching for one of my papers, and today I went to church.  I hadn’t been for the last two weeks since I’ve been traveling, and it was nice to feel at home there again.  I’m getting to know people there and feeling comfortable.  I went out to lunch with a group of girls and it was really good.  So, content here.  And Pia is coming to visit me for Thanksgiving!!!!!  Yay!

Last weekend, I went to the Highlands.  You can go on a photo tour of my weekend here.  I went with a tour group from the study abroad program I’m in so it was 50 or so American students going from place to place on a tour bus.  We saw lots of things including Loch Ness and Glencoe.  It was rainy and beautiful and I love Scotland.

The best part of last weekend was the end of it.  I was able to stay with Bill and Gwen in their home in Stirling (well, Dunblane, but right next to Stirling).  They’re a sweet Christian couple who I met through Professor Pate, one of my writing professors at Point Loma.  They had stayed with her for a wedding and have hosted 8 Point Loma students before me.  Bill had been our guide around Stirling a few weeks before, and I hadn’t met Gwen, but she was wonderful and hospitable and I had such a lovely time with both of them.  I got to be the first to sleep in their newly redecorated guest bedroom.  It was so nice to have a huge comfy bed all to myself.  My one in the dorm here is not nearly as comfortable.

Bill took the day off work on Monday and they both took me to New Lanark, an old Mill Town just south of Glasgow.  It was right on the River Clyde, and it was gorgeous and so fun.  It was wonderful to be taken care of and be with a good Christian couple who fed me and wouldn’t let me buy my own meals!

And then Bill and Gwen came up last Wednesday, two days after I had stayed with them to visit Emily, Caitlin, and I at Aberdeen.  We went to lunch at the nice cafe/restaurant on campus and then we ventured out to Footdee, a fishing village we had been told about in Aberdeen.  We walked the beach, I played on a playground–Bill joined me on a seesaw!  The pictures are on his camera though, but he is such a big kid!  The beach was deserted and gorgeous, so we just strolled around and skipped rocks.  I even saw a lone surfer, which made me feel right at home.  Though I don’t know how crazy you would have to be to swim in the North Sea!  I’m going down to stay with them again at the end of next month.  I told them they were my honourary Scottish grandparents.  You can see our adventures here.

This weekend I flew to Dublin with Emily.  It was fun, but I definitely like Scotland better.  The high light was walking down Grafton Street and hearing two teenage boys singing “Falling Slowly” from the movie Once in the alleyway where Glen Hansard sang “Say it to Me Now”!  I only caught it as I was walking by, but I wish I had stopped and listened.  We also went on a tour of the Irish countryside, which meant that I didn’t get to see the Book of Kells or the Writer’s Museum or St. Stephen’s Green, so I guess I’ll have to go back someday.  We did tour the Guinness Factory.  I tasted Emily’s free pint, and it was yucky yucky yucky.  So I had a “Free” coke instead.  We also went to the Dublin Zoo.  Pictures of my visit to Dublin are here.  Facebook is great.

I got home today and fell asleep for 3 hours because I was so exhausted.  Next week, I go to Rome!

I got my new camera today, and the leaves are changing.  I go to the River at least every other day, for the quiet and for the joy that all but bursts out of me when I try not to run down that path.  The River is my constant source of inspiration.  Metaphors swirl around in my mind like the current as it passes lightly over hidden stones and branches.  I’ve written pages in my journal, perched on the banks, watching two swans I have called Fredrick and Mildred graze the river weeds for food (What do swans eat, I often wonder).

I watched the sunset by the river tonight.  I feel so loved by God, so honored and cherished and joyful.  Scotland has been a delicate romance, with raindrop kisses on my nose and cheek, the sweet sweet scent of crunched, wet leaves on the river paths and in the park.  I feel silly quite a lot, meeting new people who spew forth generic questions and act interested in my rehearsed replies: “I’m sorry, what was your name?  I’m Heather.  It is quite a Scottish name, isn’t it?  I study English.  Yes, I’m from California, actually.  Yes, the weather is quite different here, but I expected that.  It’s hot at home.  Well, I’m only here until December, so I’m trying to settle in now before I’m gone.  I’m a fourth year at home.  I’ll go home and graduate.  I’m enjoying it so far.  Anything else?  No?  Next please.”

Which is why I spent all day in my room today, cleaning and enjoying being alone.  I’m being melo-comedic but it’s coming across as melodramatic.  It really is quite funny.  Every time I introduce myself at church and get to the part about California, someone says, “Oh, have you met Brian?  He’s from California, you know.”  I’ve been introdcuced to Brian about 12 times now, and it really has become quite amusing.  Oh dear.

In case it’s not apparent, Scotland really is my Fairy Land.  Tomorrow, I will have been away for a whole month.  It’s already passing so quickly.  Does time really accelerate as you increase in age?

God has already been answering prayers.  I’ve been allowed shared who Jesus is with two of my flatmates who were very respectful and appreciated that I’m not a pushy Christian.  I just want everyone to be so happy as I am, so careless in the care of God.  I’m very thankful.

I have added pictures to my flickr account, and they are now available for previewing to your right in the sidebar.  Or, you can click here and be directed.  There are pictures of my room available here, so you can picture me sitting on my bed writing this.